I’m Doing Europe (Part Six): Brussels, Belgium

Actually Written June 3, 2008

Five Things I Learned from Brussels/Belgium in the Four Hours I Spent There:

1. They speak French there. I did not. Bad combo.
2. Belgium waffles:American Waffles::The American Form of Democracy:The Rest of the World’s Idea of Democracy
3. They really love this fountain with a statue of a small kid pissing. I'm pretty sure it drives the local tourist economy, but I’m not entirely sure. It’s called Manneken Pis. Did I mention it was a fountain with a statue of a small kid pissing?
4. The architecture is pretty astounding, at least in the city center where the woman from the tourist board told us to go. The whole Gran Place left me in awe when we stumbled onto it – there’s an oldness and richness to Europe and it’s cities that we don’t quite have in the States.
5. Shimya Beer: This is a country where Stella Artois is thought of as cheap and disgusting. Shimya beer, one of their finest, tastes like beer if beer was supposed to taste like a milk shake flavored like puppies, pictures of your grandmother, and your first crush on a girl. I’d go get some if I were you.

* In Amsterdam, our roommate Penny told me the whole story behind Menneken Pis. As the story goes, one night a rich man’s five year old goes missing. Some time later, after turning the whole town over, the rich man finds his son near the Grand Place, naked and pissing happily on the street. The dude was so rich he decided to celebrate the occasion by erecting a fountain there. Apparently that kid grew up in Brussels, fated to pass by the commeration of his fabled piss for years. Must have been hard to grow up as the Manneken Pis kid huh? In the growing up fucked up spectrum, I’d say it’s square between the girl that fell in the well (low grade) and anyone/thing that's come out of Britnez Spears (ZING! Can’t be a blog without them celeb quips right?).